Parity Begins at Home

Sapna Shahani

I grew up to be quite the feminist. When I think about the male roles in my family, none are really chauvinist. My father, although the primary bread-earner, was fairly dominated by my strong-willed mother. One of my brothers is an alpha male who objectifies women and has been known to get into violent fights but would still respect a strong woman. My other brother has a pretty balanced male-female psychology and has been able to bond with males and females alike.

Perhaps this is what brought out my desire to speak out against injustices meted out to women. I saw in my family that men and women are equals with different strengths and weaknesses that complement each other. So it is hard for me to accept cruelties perpetrated against women just because they are women. To me, a society that allows gross injustices against one gender is dysfunctional.

Our tremendous culture reveres the divine feminine for a good reason. There was a lot of wisdom figured out by the ancients. Nature is about balance, so are happy societies. So what does this mean for us today?

I noticed my 'well-balanced' brother becoming worried when his five-year-old son wanted to wear pinks or play with dolls. I guess because he wasn't an aggressive child, he got teased by the other boys and doesn't want his son to go through the same treatment. Sadly, now the child's parents buy him guns and violent video games, and have successfully conditioned the boy to be aggressive to fit society's norms. This is where I think we're going wrong.

We need to stop moulding boys into insensitive, emotionally-repressed, responsibility-bearing types, because this is a recipe for a ticking bomb. If you look at the sources of conflict, it is often times because of ego clashes, misplaced anger, etc. Why is it that wars are waged by men but women suffer more? Yet women are at fault for spoiling their sons, raising them to expect the world but not accepting them socially if they cry when their expectations crash.

I urge you to look at your own family's gender roles and challenge yourself to encourage your men to reveal their emotions as this would be the beginning of their healing. Also, women should step forward to shoulder the financial burdens and encourage the men in your family to share the housework. Roles should not be defined by gender but rather by competence in the area.

This Blog is part of the Men Say No Blogathon, encouraging men to take up action against the violence faced by women.

More entries to the Blogathon can be read at www.mustbol.in/blogathon. Join further conversation on facebook.com/delhiyouth & twitter.com/mustbol